Literature

Writing is a form of art.
Poetry is a form of writing.
Art is a way of self-expression.
Literature is a form of reading.
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Sunday October 5, 2025
"I Cry" 

I cry when I'm sad 
I cry when I'm down
I cry when I'm helpless 

I cry

I cry when I'm in pain 

I cry

I cry when I'm happy 
I cry when I'm laughing 
I cry when I'm loving life

I cry 

I cry when help is given to me
I cry when I help others 

I cry

- Issac Mendoza 
4:53pm


" I Overdosed"
Its Friday October 3, 2025 4:47pm

I'm at the hospital 

I overdosed again

The first time I overdosed on coke

About a year ago today 
 I was rushed to the hospital 

I saw my life pass 
Not once 
Not twice 
But three times 

About a year ago today
I fought hard to be here 

I faught against myself 
I faught against death 

Here I am today 
In the same room
Around the same time 

I overdosed 

My three day weekend was cut short 

As I drove I felt my heart fall short
My heart wanted to come out 

I pulled over to the side of the rode 
Not once
But twice 

I pulled over to the side of the rode 
With the ambulance by my side 

I left my car on the side of the rode
And rode the ambulance 

I overdosed
About a year ago today 

I once again lay in my own death bed 

I overdosed 

I lay in fear
Wanting to be here

I Iay in fear relieving the past in the present 

I lay in fear 
Wanting to be here 

I overdosed 

I lay in bed 
As I fear death 

I lay in bed 
Not wanting to sleep

I lay in bed as I fear death 
Scared

What if I sleep for eternity?
I lay in bed as I pray 

I lay in bed  
Suffocated 
Unable to breathe 
Unable to speak

I lay in bed with anxiety 
In panick

I overdosed on life 

- Issac Mendoza 
5:30pm

Thursday October 2nd, 2025
"Ying & Yang" 

I took acid and became poetic

I took acid and became a lyricist 

I took acid and became a writer 

I took acid and became LSD

I took acid and became, an artist 

I found myself through LSD

LSD, my alter-ego

I ate mushrooms and saw life

I ate mushrooms and found life 

I ate mushrooms and found healing 

I ate mushrooms and found purpose 

I ate mushrooms and became an artist 

I found myself through mushrooms 

Through mushrooms, I found Psychedelic Bunny

My second, alter-ego

LSD is light
LSD is color

Psychedelic Bunny is dark
Psychedelic Bunny is mysterious

They're both light and dark

They balance each other 

Ying Yang 

- Issac Mendoza 

12:38pm

Saturday September 27, 2025
"I'm Watching a Porno" 

I'm watching a porno
It's live on the big screen

Im watching a porno
It's the big premiere

I'm watching a porno

I hear the man gag
I see him choke

Im watching a porno
As I see the man 
Watch me, watch him 
From the movie screen 

I'm watching a porno
When I see the man pleasure the man

I'm watching a porno
In the comforts of my home 

I'm watching a porno
As I stand in the middle of my shower

I'm watching a porno at the gym 

- Issac Mendoza 
9/27/2025 10:30am
High on mushrooms 

Saturday September 27, 2025
"The Voices in My Head" 

I hear a voice 
It's speaking to me

The voice is loud 

I hear the voice
It's speaking to me

It speaks loud 

The voice, is guiding me. 

The voice said:

"You will go to Outpost X, to a remote location. You will ride the mutant vehicle across playa with a black cape and your black bunny mask. You will become, your second alter ego, Psychedelic Bunny and perform to Army of me by Bjork. Your camera will be placed on the hood of the mutant vehicle as you perform to no one, but yourself as your cape floats in mid air. 

When you are done, you will "kill" yourself as Issac Mendoza, with a large all black water gun which you will spray paint. You will get on one knee as you wear skin tone underwear and hold the gun on one shoulder and "blast" yourself to death. 

When you "die" you will be reborn as your first alter-ego, LSD and you will perform to Hyperballad by Bjork.

You will then combine the edits and tell your story.
Let the art speak for itself."

The voices in my head
Spoke to me 

- Issac Mendoza 
9/27/2025 8:20am
At the gym, high on mushrooms


Thursday September 25 2025
"The Mushrooms Speak To Me"

I'm at the gym
High on life 
High on mushrooms 

The mushrooms are speaking to me
The way food speaks to a fat kid

The mushrooms are speaking to me
The way a therapist speaks to you

The mushrooms are speaking to me
The way my parents spoke to me 

The mushrooms are speaking to me
The way the man from the gym just spoke to me

The mushrooms speak to me

I just spoke with myself

- Issac Mendoza 
9.25.2025 8:15am

Monday September 22, 2025
"We Are Not United" 

I'm riding in the back of an uber
Like the way an immigrant rides in the back of a car

I'm riding in the back of an uber
With coffee in between my legs

The wind in my face 
The air whispering in my ears

I see the wall
I see the ocean
I see the mountains 
I see a helicopter 
High above me 

We are not united 
We are broken 
Split in half

We're the States of America 

We will be United
When the wall breaks
When the wall collapses

Only then we will be United 

The United States of America

Issac mendoza
Playas de Tijuana 
4:36pm 9/22/2025

Saturday September 13, 2025
"I Had Sex With The Devil"

I laid in bed as darkness fell.
When the devil reached out.
We met on Sniffies. 

I opened the door and the devil came inside.
His eyes black like his soul.
His eyes dilated like those of a meth head.

I laid in bed with the devil.
He drained me from my soul.
Not once.
But twice.

I laid in bed with the devil.
As he spoke the word of the lord.

I held the devil in my arms.
When I felt his darkness.
So I whispered in his ear,
"You're going to be okay." 

As the devil spoke the word of the lord.
I started to see his true colors.
They were black like his eyes.
Red like the flames in which he lives in.

The devil was strong.
He wouldn't take no for an answer.

I laid in bed with the devil.
Scared.

There was a meth head on top of me.
When I saw the devil.
The devil, revealed himself to me.

When the devil left,
I asked God to reveal this person to me.

I had sex with the devil. 

- Issac Mendoza
Sunday September 14, 2025 11:56PM

Tuesday July, 15, 2025
"Cleansing My Mind"

On July 15, 2025 I was driving to work when the mushrooms called my name. When I made it home from work, I laid in bed naked, contemplating life. To trip or not to trip, that was the question.

Without realizing it, I spent an hour meditating naked in bed as I listened to sound bath music. That's when I knew I was ready to trip.

I ate 3 grams of psychic mushrooms, grabbed my phone and started documenting my journey. 

Within 45 minutes I started praying to God so he can guide me and protect me during my journey. When I felt the mushrooms kicking in, I immediately started heavy breathing and started chanting;
"I clean my mind and my soul from impurities. God is with me. God is by me and God is protecting me."

The first thing I saw was myself pregnant. I saw myself as a woman with a baby bump. I saw myself as a pregnant woman wearing a long ruggled dress as I sat on the meadow looking down at my baby bump as I held it with both hands.

I saw and felt my sisters sadness. I felt her depression and in return it made me depressed. I saw how much pain my sister has which caused an aching pain in my heart. I saw and felt my sisters depression. I cried as I scrambled to help my sister before I ran out of time.

I then saw and felt myself wanting to have a period. 

In real life, I placed both of my legs in a squat stance position. When I realized what I was doing. I was getting myself ready to give birth.

I then saw myself gift my friend an evil eye necklace. As I gifted my friend the evil eye, I saw myself gifting her an evil eye amulet of protection, an amulet of my personal evil eye to protect her from all evil. 

I then felt myself about to have a periodm when it happened, I had my first period.

The next thing I saw, was feeling the love of my family. When I started to cry profoundly. As I continued to cry, I saw the family I felt, I saw CAMP LSD, when I started to burst into tears.

I saw myself in the future. I saw myself at Burning Man 2025 inside CAMP LSD, when I saw myself surrounded by my new family. I cried tears of joys as I felt the love of my camp mates. Thats when I knew these were more than my camp mates. These are my choosen family.

I then saw and felt my own family. I saw and felt my mother, my father, my sister, and my brother. I saw how broken my family is. Not only did I see my broken family, I felt the void.  It broke my heart and it broke me into tears.  

I then started to have contractions. I cried as I pushed to give birth. I leaned off of the bed as I drenched myself into tears. I had just given birth to the New Version of Myself. 

I held the New Version of Myself, when I started to chant,
"I gave birth, to the new version of myself."

After, I started to chant, "I protect the new version of myself". 

When I was done protecting the New Version of Myself, I once again started to cry. I started to cry because I once again saw myself in the future. I saw myself with my new family having fun at Burning Man when I started to chant, "CAMP LSD, were building the camp together. Were in this together."

After I saw and felt myself bringing CAMP LSD together with my new found family I said outloud,
"CAMP LSD, thank you for believing in me. Thank you so much. Thank you for believing in me when no one else did because no one else believed in me, but I believed in myself." as I drenched myself in tears of love.

I then connected with my broken family when I started to chant,
"I'm bringing my family together. I'm bringing my broken family together."  as  I covered myself in tears of sorrow and my arms moved past each other in an attempt to bring my family together.

I then covered my face with both hands as my hands moved gracefuly across either sides of my face in an upward motion towars the crown of my head when I started to chant,
"I'm cleansing myself from impurities. I'm cleansing myself from impurities.

When I was done purifying my mind, the tips of index fingers connected together as both of my thumbs overlapped each other. I created a triangle shape with both hands as I held a third eye in between. My hands started to move in a slow circular motion as I felt my third eye beam high and strong. 

As my hands continued to move in a circular motion, my third eye was scanning my home. My third eye was showing me the upstairs and downstairs floors. My third eye was showing me how pure my house is. When I was done scanning my home, I placed both of my arms in front of me as the palms of my hands faced my face. I was now holding two evil eyes on the palms of each hand. When I felt the power of the evil eyes project onto me. 

When I staretd chanting, "I protect myself from all evil. I protect myself from all evil."

When I was done protecting myself from evil, I flipped the palms of my hands infront of me as I continued to hold two evil eyes on the palms of each hand when I started to chant,
"I protect my home from all evil. I protect my home from all evil."

When I was done protecting my home from evil, I connected with my dog, Xena. I cried so much as I felt the love of Xena all around. My dog missed me, and I was missing her when I started to cry tears of pain when I started to say, "I'm sorry Xena. I'm sorry Xena, I love you so much my baby. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm going to bring you home soon. I love you so much Xena, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me my baby."

Thats when I knew Xena, was my protector. She protects me from all harm. 

I then saw my grand nephew Julius when I started to cry. I cried because I felt how much love I had for this new born child. I cried as I saw and felt how much my nephew Julian loves his son Julius.

As I cried, I gave Julius an amulet of my personal evil eye for protection from all evil. 

I then saw my lover, The Sexy Man as he sat on the sofa in the middle of his home, struggling to gather his thoughts as he scramble to get his work done. I saw how much he was struggling when I started to chant, "You're going to be okay Orion. You're going to be okay."

When I came back from my trip,  I said outloud, "I'm done tripping, I'm done tripping" in an attempt to finish hallucinating. But my mind had other plans for me. As I struggled to fall asleep, I felt saltiness around me. I was having a bad trip.

When I felt a bad trip coming, I said outloud, "I'm done tripping, I'm done tripping." In an attempt to prevent myself from having a bad trip. But I couldn't help it. I saw and felt salt all around me. Salt was in my room as I tasted it with my very own pores and saw salt in the form of the evil eye all around my room.

I tried my hardest to prevent the bad trip from coming to me but I couldn't help it, it was already too late.

I then saw my coworker as this individual stood right in front of me as we looked at each other straight into the eye.

When I woke up from my trip, it was the next day, Wednesday July 16, 2025 4:30am.

-Issac Mendoza
7.24.2025 9:30pm

Sunday July 7, 2025
"Time Travel"

I'm at the top of the Nevada mountains high on psychic mushrooms. Cycling through the past and into the future. 

Thursday July 3, 2025 8:06am
"The Man on the Mirror" -imc

I'm currently naked listening to, Dance Of The Hunter's Fire by Mickey Heart while high on psychic mushrooms.

I spent my entire morning cleansing my home and cleansing my soul.

Since November 2024 my home was like a seesaw, it was off balance. 

But today I repaired the equilibrium. I repaired my home; both internally and externally.

As I shaved my face, I saw myself in the mirror when I started to have a conversation within myself. Thats when I knew, the psychic mushrooms kicked in.

As I shaved my face, I had a conversation with the man on the mirror.

As I shaved my face, I saw the man on the mirror when he said to me:

"You are strong. You are beautiful. You are loving. You are honest. You are loyal. You are well off. You are happy. You are beautiful and you have it all."

As I shaved my face, I looked down at myself as I heard the man on the mirror speak to me. 

When I looked in the mirror, I saw the man on the mirror.

The man on the mirror, looked at himself when he started to cry and said to himself, "thank you God."

-Issac Mendoza
High on mushrooms
8:32am

Sunday Jun 29, 2025 6:45pm
"Satan masked himself as an angel" -imc

This quote is based on a true story, a story that was inspired by today's mass.

Satan has been living in my home since November 2024. Prior to this, I knew of Satan for a few years. Satan always painted himself to be this holy person. I believed in Satan's good faith and allowed him to enter my home.

In December 2024 I had a deep conversation with Satan and questioned his good faith. I said to Satan, "dude, if I knew you lived this lifestyle I would have never allowed you into my home. You get plastered every day, you do a lot of coke, and when you enter my home, you bring a lot of dark heavy energies."

Satan stayed quiet and said, "you see, last night I got so high and plastered, I lost my wallet and one thousand dollars. I'm going to get sober. I want to do good."

I said to Satan, "good, maybe this was meant to happen to you so you can learn a lesson. This is teaching you something."

Satan gambled with life and was gifted twelve thousand dollars. Satan became greedy and I said to him, "Satan, instead of buying things you don't need, do good for yourself. Buy yourself a car so you don't struggle. The remainder of the money you can use for car registration, insurance, and for savings."

Satan, was caught of guard. Within a few days, he bought himself a pair of wings and now he was able to fly. 

On December 31, 2024 NYE I said to Satan, "dude, you're doing good for yourself. You no longer bring heavy energies into my home. You stopped drinking. You stopped doing coke, and now you have a pair of wings and you can fly. Good for you Satan, your doing good for yourself. Keep-up the good work."

Satan, was caught of guard and said, "thank you" and went to his room.

On January 2025 I said to Satan, "dude, I had my second encounter with God! I saw him as I looked into the clouds. The clouds started to take shape as God! As God came down on me, I held onto his back for dear life!"

Satan said, "You know, I don't believe in God. My family used religion against me as to why I don't believe in him. I have the upside down crucifix hanging in my room".

I looked at Satan in disbelief. 

End of January 2025 I said to Satan, "Satan, I had my third encounter with God! But this time, I felt God! God came down on me and grabbed me by the hand. I cried in disbelif as we held onto each other!"

Satan said, "I don't believe in God. I have the upside down crucifix in my room."

I looked at Satan in disbelief and said, "well, I would rather believe in something holy than believe in something demonic."

Satan stayed quiet and went to his room.

On April 2025, I said to Satan, "dude, you're bringing dark heavy energies into my home. Its really bothersome. I don't know what you're going through or what's going on in your personal life, but you leave lingering energies around. It's really annoying. You're irresposible, you always have an excuse for everything. It's hard for you to pay rent and you make more money than me; you're always broke! Your messy, your lazy, and your unmotivated. I allowed you into my home because you painted yourself to be this beautiful angel! But you're not who you say you are! If I would have known  who you really are, I would have never asked you to enter my home. My home is holy. I believe in God and the lord savior Jesus Christ, and here you are, entering my home with an upside down crucifix in your room."

Satan wanted to cry. He stayed quiet and went to his room.

Easter Monday 2025, I said to Satan, "Satan, I need to speak to you. I'am giving you a two month nothice. Your last day will be Monday June 30th, 2025."

Satan was in shock. He said, "well why?" 

I said to Satan, "for doing bad deeds! Satan, you masked yourself to be this beautiful angel, but you're far from it! I reliquish you from heaven and I clip away your wings! I relinquish you, by the power of God; I cast into hell Satan, amen."

Satan became irreverent toward the holy environment he found himself in and became violent in thought, if not in deed.

"Satan Masked Himself As An Angel", by Issac Mendoza is based on a true story. 
This creative writing came to me as I sat front row at the 5pm mass today Sunday June 29, 2025.

-Issac Mendoza
9:13pm

Friday June 27, 2025 8:37am
"The best workout is the one within yourself" -imc

This quote was inspired as I cycled 16 miles across Las Vegas, Nevada and started reflecting on the one thing I had to let go.

I cried as I cycled. 

Life was coming to me. Life was after me.

When I made it home, I spoke with Winsconsin. It was time to let go.

I let go of the person that was holding me back. I put life into perspective, there was no going back. 

Consuming psychic mushrooms in the last 24 hours have allowed me to see deep within myself. They have allowed me to put life into perspective. They have allowed me to heal and let go. 

- Issac Mendoza
8:47am

Thursday June 26, 2025 6:30am
"The psychic mushrooms, were speaking to me." -imc

I made my way to Calico Basin in Las Vegas, Nevada where I endured a psychedelic journey of enlightenment.

As I hiked bare, I was deep in my personal thoughts. 

As I continued to hike bare, these thoughts were now lingering the way a fly lingers around you.

As I continued to hike bare, I stopped myself and said outloud:

"I let go! I let go of 'Bey' for questioning me. I let go of 'Maria' for always being nasty to me, I let go of 'Winsconsin' for being an alcoholic, and I let go of 'Satan' (roommate), for always bringing darkness into my home."

The psychic mushrooms, were speaking to me.

I sat at the top of the rock in complete darkness like the darkness that sat in me.

I sat bare, at the top of the rock as I recorded myself and reflected on the underlying issues within me.

As I recorded myself, I let go. 

As I let go, the sun started to rise.

My face turned a bright orange- yellow.

I was no longer dark. I was now light. 

When I made it home, I spoke to Winsconsin and brought up my concerns. When I saw Maria, I was able to let go. When I spoke with Satan, I was able to let go. As for Bey, I am yet to see him. 

One thing I realized from this psychedelic journey of enlightenment was letting go of the things that were holding me back.

I learned to let go of the lingering thoughts that lingered inside, like the way a fly lingers. 

-Issac Mendoza
6.27.2025 8:37am

Monday June 16, 2025 
"The Acid Healded The Wound I Never Knew I had" -imc

I sat on the kitchen table on the wee hours of the morning. It was me and 5 empty chairs occupied by the darkness around me. 

I sat on the kitchen table with unwanted guest. I sat on the kitchen table with darkness all around. Darkness sat with me for about two hours.

I grabbed the lighter and burned the sage. I cleansed myself and I cleansed my home. As I burned the sage, I told my guest to go home. 

I sat on the sofa until 2pm. When I heard Satan walking out of his room. I heard Satan as the stairs creeked with every step that he took. 

Satan was passing by me as he passed through the door. Thats when I knew, Satan brought these unwanted guests to my door. 

At 2pm I took my second microdose of acid. By 6pm I took my second microdose of acid for the day. 

I laid in bed scrolling on my iPad. By 7pm, I felt my right hand become light. By 7pm, I felt my left hand become light. By 7pm, I was light as a feather. 

I laid in bed as I felt my body lighter than air. I laid in bed as I caressed myself in mid air. 

I was one, with the air. 

I laid in bed and closed my eyes.

I saw myself in a bright green meadow. I saw myself holding a bouquet of roses. As I held the bouquet, I spun in circles. I spun and I spun. As I spun, I held the bouquet, as I felt and saw myself be happy. 

I saw the passing of my aunts and my uncle. I saw my aunt Julia collapse to her death as she sang karaoke with her family around. I saw my aunt Concha collapse to her death as I saw her collapse at the top of her own stairs. I saw my uncle Gene collapse to his death as he collapsed to his own death in his own home.

I saw the passing of my aunts and my uncle; when I raised both hands in mid air and prayed outloud, " I pray for my aunts and uncle so they can continue through their afterlife."

When I was done praying, I laid in bed with eyes closed.

I saw myself and I saw God. God had taken me by the hand. I felt his ora and his presence. God held me by the hand and gave me infinate life. 

I had longevity. 

I saw the acid and felt the acid. I saw the acid deep in my brain as it rewired me. I saw and felt the acid fixing my brain. It's as if I was broken and the acid was fixing me. 

Looking back at this moment in time made me realize how happy I am with life. I may not be rich, but Im rich in happiness.

Though I was never there, the acid made me see these beautiful passings.

The acid also showed me the after life. It showed me heaven. It showed me where I will be when I collapse to my death. 

I will be in heaven where I will continue my life, in the afterlife. 

As for the rewiring of the brain, well, the answer is simple.

The acid rewired my brain. It fixed me.

The acid healed the wound I never knew I had.

- Issac Mendoza 
6.27.2025 10:41am

Tripping on Acid 6.16.2025 Video

Wednesday May 7, 2025 7pm
" I have it all" - imc

Consuming psychedelics, have exposed me to an unknown world. A world, in which I currently live in. 

Through psychedelics, I found Bjork. 

On this day, I saw Bjork Live in Theaters while high on acid.

On this day, I took my first microdose of acid. 

During the show, I was deep in my own personal thoughts. I sat, watching, my own show.

When I made it home, my own art started tripping me. That's when I knew I did a good job. 

When I saw the stairs, I saw an infinate climb.

I climbed to the top of the stairs. When I felt dark heavy energies coming out of Satan's room (roommate). I stood at the top of the stairs as I felt Satans darkness behind closed doors.

When I made it to my room, I saw God high above my wall. I got on my knees and prayed, "dear God, thank you for giving me food to eat. Thank you for giving me a place to call home. Thank you for giving me my bed and for giving me my car. Thank you for my job, for my family and for my friends. Thank you for all the beautiful things you have given me, amen."

After prayer, I got naked and took a shower. 

As I showered, I felt the water. As I showered, I felt the water purify me. As I showered, I felt the water cleanse me. As I showered, my hands caressed my body. My hands were removing the dark negative energies that have been around me. As I showered, my hands caressed my body as they continued to remove the darkness that surrounded me. 

As I showered, I cleansed myself when my hands caressed my penis. As I cleansed myself, I held my penis with both hands. As I cleansed myself, I touched myself. As I touched myself, I said outloud:

"I am beautfiul and I love myself. "

As I loved myself, I started to cry. As I cried, I cleansed myself.

I became one with the water.

When I was done cleansing, I dried myself and laid on the corner of my bed.

I started reflecting.

I cried as I started reflecting:

" I have it all. I have a place to call home. I have food to eat. I have a job. I have a bed. I have a pillow and a blanket. I have clothes. I have carpet. I hace ac. I have a loving family and loving friends. As long as I have food to eat, that to me is having it all."

Looking back at this beautiful moment in time, I realized a few things.

Number one, the acid mad me feel and see the dark heavy energy Satan has brought into my home. I believe in God and have God high above my wall. While Satan, has an upside-down crucifix in his room. If there is good, there is bad. 

Number two, the acid made feel the dark heavy energies that were on me. These negative energies were on me because of Satan and the people around me. 

Number three, the acid cleansed me from the darkness. The water purified me.

Number four, the acid helped me realize how beautiful I am. It made me realize how beautiful my body is. It made me realize how beautiful I am both inside and out. The acid, made me realize how fortunate I am to have this beautiful body I call home. 

Lastly, the acid made me find the meaning of what "having it all" means to me. It made me be grateful for all the beautiful things I have. It made me realize how good I have it. 

We get so caught up with wanting everything. We want the best car, the best house, the best clothes. We get so caught up with all the greedy things in life and acid, made me see life.

"As long as I have food to eat, that to me, is having it all."

This psychedelic journey of enlightenment also inspired my new book. An in depth book of what "having it all" means to me and the inspiration behind it.

iiamlsd
A Psychedelic Journey of Enlightenment
"I have it all"
by Issac Mendoza

Coming soon. 

- Issac Mendoza
6.27.2025 10:03am

Tripping on Acid 5.7.2025 Video